


Man Milk

by Talliya



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angry Ignis, Gen, I couldn't resist., I just HAD to have Iggy say it., I'm sorry I'm not sorry., This is entirely based off of the British Milk Council posts.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 17:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17390651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talliya/pseuds/Talliya
Summary: Ignis is so very tired of running out of milk.





	Man Milk

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any rights to Final Fantasy XV(15) or its characters. This work is not for profit.
> 
> Based off of the British Milk Council tweets. https://talliyasfics.tumblr.com/post/181941664045/helmistress-detenebrate-naturalblues

Ignis was sick of it, absolutely _SICK_ of it. He had opened his home to the others as a way of thanks, to let them know that he cherished their friendship. But, this was it, this was the last straw. He set up cameras and trained them on his refrigerator, then, went off to work. He bought another carton of milk when he got off work, used part of it to make them all dinner. The rest, obviously, placed in the refrigerator for later. When he came out the next morning with the intent of making everyone hot chocolate... the milk was gone.

He heaved a heavy sigh that seemed to rouse the two boys passed out on his sofa, and closed the fridge. He went about making tea and the blandest breakfast he could think of. Once Prompto and Noctis had left to complete their own days, Ignis went over the footage on his hidden refrigerator cameras. Only twenty minutes after he had gone to bed found Prompto heading to the cupboard and pulling down a glass, then to the fridge to grab the milk. Ignis shook his head, at least he wasn’t as bad as Noctis twenty minutes later, drinking the rest from the carton itself. There was going to be some new rules put into place because of this. Ignis could NOT stand not being able to cook when he wanted!

So thinking, he headed out and bought more groceries, milk included, then headed home to put it all away. Once done he sat down at his desk and drafted a set of rules.  
1\. Do NOT use the milk after dinner has been finished.  
2\. Rinse your dishes, don’t just leave them in the sink.  
3\. You have beds. Use them.  
4\. If you want snacks, please ask me to add them to the shopping list, or get them yourself.  
5\. If you finish off the milk, replace it!

He nodded his head, yes, this would do. He grabbed up a flamboyant chocobo magnet and stuck his RULES list to the refrigerator. With another decisive nod of his head he set about making lunch, then prepping for dinner. He checked to make sure that his hidden cameras were still recording, before leaving for an afternoon meeting. Upon his return there was a put out Noctis and an anxious Prompto seated on the sofa.

He rose a brow at them as he removed his shoes and placed them on the rack by the door, “Is something the matter Highness, Prompto?”

“You, you made rules.” Prompto’s voice seemed unsure.

“I did, yes.” He walked over to the pair, “Is there a problem?”

“Why are you so crazy about the milk?” Noctis seemed entirely confused.

“Nocits, this IS _my_ home. It is MY milk. Which you drank from the carton. I have glasses for crying out loud, **use** them. But, I am utterly sick of finding I have no milk with which to make breakfast every other morning. I realize the two of you like milk, and that’s fine. Using it as if it’s never going to run out however, is ridiculous! If you use the rest of it, replace it, leave me a note about it. Anything to be even the least bit considerate!”

“Whoa, whoa! Hold up.” Noctis stood up, now closer to face to face with Ignis. “Are you thinking about denying us your milk?”

“Dude, it _is_ his place Noct, he can kinda deny us whatever he wants.” Prompto stood as well, putting a consoling hand on Noctis’ shoulder.

“I’m not currently denying you anything, I’m asking that you replace it when you drink it all, and give me warning when it’s low.” Ignis gave an arch look.

“Come on man, it’s just milk.” Noctis whined.

An evil smirk twisted the corner of Ignis’ mouth, “Yes, well, you don’t deserve my Man Milk Noctis.”

Prompto blinked for a moment before falling back on the sofa laughing, Noctis was frozen to the spot, unable to comprehend what had just happened. Ignis headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. As they sat down to dinner, Prompto explained the whole ordeal to Gladiolus, who roared with laughter but concurred with Ignis about replacing and warning about low levels of Ignis’ ‘man milk’. Noctis simply shook his head in embarrassment and conceded.


End file.
